Cost of the Heart

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  • Under a Dark Star : Cobwebs of Minds

    Under a Dark Star : Cobwebs of Minds

     Talas had crawled out of the pool of water and was sitting on the edge waiting for Asha. She was thinking about things. She had never felt the things she had these past two nights. She had been intertwined with another’s being. She saw and felt emotions alien to her. All in the mind. Her hip leg/arms snapped into the socket on her body with a snick she felt through her body. Clearing her thoughts a little they drifted to her babies. My little ones, how many are you left? Reaching out with her thoughts she caresses each little mind she could feel. There was a gentle “cooing” in her mind as she reached out.

     Gently taking the egg sack of what was left of her babies Asha swam up and joined Talas at the edge of the pool.

    Asha, how many babies are left? Talas found himself concerned as he could hear and feel Asha climb out of the water to settle next to him. The night was full and darkness swallowed all.

    Many babies lost. Maybe 20 left. Will know when they come out in two more nights. I hurt Talas, I never hurt before. Why do I hurt inside.

    Talas could feel the pain and loss that Asha felt inside each of her thoughts he touched. Asha, they were your babies, your children, of course you mourn the loss of them. You loved them. Talas soothed and caressed Asha’s heart and mind.

    Talas, I not Love before. I no care how many live or die. I just train as many for the reaping as I can. Only 10 can be reaped. Rest die. I don’t want babies to go to reaping now. I hurt for other babies now. This love hurt. I no like it. Love for you different. It not hurt. Asha let loose a loud cry of dispar that echoed through the cave. Raw and primal were the sobs that followed. Reaching over Talas pulled her in tight. The chitin armor hard and edged. Talas didn’t care; he just held Asha as she cried tearless sobs. Asha, I love you.

     Talas held that thought not as an echo of words but as a blanket of pure caring and balm for her heart. Talas wrapped Asha in his blanket of thought soothing her mind and holding her heart gently but securely as he could. Talas reached out to the babies feeling their “cooing” he held them in that same blanket of love he suspended Asha in.

     The babies, now being comforted after suffering such an ordeal, were experiencing something new from their mother and this other creature that was not food. They were young enough for this not to be alien but it was new and welcome. Mentally they snuggled into their mother and this not food creature felt something new. Each of them in the web of thought and emotion including Asha, with Talas coming to tears with the overwhelming feeling of family, of unity, of oneness through love.

    This family wrapped in darkness shared the brightness of love dancing through the forged heart Under a Dark Star.

    (continued)

    -d²

  • Received my first Proof copy

    Received my first Proof copy

    Hi all, I have received a proof copy of the book printed. I like it except the line breaks for time passage or point of view change are all gone. For short stories these line breaks are important in order to not confuse the reader when a scene changes, time passes, or a point of view changes during a scene. Where in novels this can be done with chapters, in short stories I need those line breaks for you to know that things have changed. I read through “Demon Tears” and it is “ok”, I am not happy with the readability for the story. With “Statue of Love” it becomes unreadable in my opinion and I wrote it haha.

    With these small issues it seems to be a bit one with the typesetting. I have had to push out my release date to first week in August while I try to get the files in an acceptable format according to me. I want you to have a quality product regardless if it is a Kendle download ($9.99USD) or the physical book ($17.50USD).

    Pics of the interior of the physical proof copy of “Cost of the Heart: Vol I – Into the Fire”

    Opening Title page with copywrite info
    Inside front cover
    Interior pages showing list of three short stories, Demon Tears, Statue of Love, and Heart of the Dead. Opposite page has image of Lilith.
    Story list and image of Lilith in a “Penny Dreadful” style.
    Physical book lying face down on desk showing back of book.

    Back of book with my pic and bio.

    Thank all of you for your continued support and interest in my writings. -d²

  • Cost of the Heart Vol I – Kendal eBook Available for preorder NOW!

    Cost of the Heart Vol I – Kendal eBook Available for preorder NOW!

    Hello all, I now have my Kendal version available for preorder. The release date is 24 July, 2026. I may move the date up if the print version looks good as well. I will receive my proof copy this Sunday.

    Thank all of you for your support. See book image for the link to my Kendal eBook preorder on Amazon. -d²

  • Under a Dark Star: Become One

    Under a Dark Star: Become One

    Talas woke intertwined with Asha still kissing to keep him alive underwater. Looking up he saw the surface of the pool still tinged with blood red to burnt orange coloring across ripples. Feeling the babies cry at the edges of his awareness there was something different. More “cooing” instead of gnawing? Shaking his head he felt Asha’s grip tighten. Her groggy thoughts touched his.

    Talas, you, ok? Still not safe. Only when light gone. Her thoughts gently caressed his mind and heart. Her tone soothing to him, he tightened his hug feeling her smooth warm body against him. How long, Asha, we need to hunt for babies. This thought stunned him, he felt a need to care for the babies, for Asha. He knew she was still weak and needed to eat.

    Asha felt these thoughts that wafted through Talas’s mind. His concern for her and her babies touched and melted a heart she once did not have. Her love for Talas now whole and complete. There was no turning back from this abyss of feelings, desire, and commitment. She belonged to Talas and he to her.

    Talas, I love you. Tonight, and maybe another day. Sun angry, bad angry. Babies be ok, Asha be ok, she in your arms. With that warm thought wrapping around Talas’s mind Asha wrapped her body even tighter into Talas. Their thoughts blended.

     She delved into Tala’s heart; found his desires, his most secret hopes, Asha found his heart and devoured it completely. Talas laid bare and did not hold back. He felt her penetrating into his most precious thoughts and feelings. His memories of love, the broken heart as a boy, all of it. In turn he felt her void of loving memories, the hurt she felt when rejected by him, the raw, primitive desire to love and be loved. Loved by him, to love him. Only him. Talas realized.

     There could be no physical coupling between these two. The body make up would not allow it.

     Asha though danced and spun webs of desire and passion within Talas’s mind. He followed with abandon. The two became one in heart. Each one’s mind alien to the other, but the hearts, those knew each other. It was through Talas’s own heart that Asha grew one. They made love in the most intimate of ways, through the mind’s eye. Each a breeze or torrent of passion within a shared waking dream throughout the night and day.

     The Dark Star’s raging solar storm lasted for three full cycles day and night. Asha and Talas stayed in that in between awake and dream state with each other the entire time. Even in sleep Talas felt her and Asha felt him.

     Night fell, the surface of the pool was dark, both Asha and Talas looked up while in their life/love embrace. Each clung to the other not for just life but for existential existence.

    I want to stay here… The thought was simultaneously both of theirs. The emotional and mental hug and deep kiss would move poets to tears if there were any present to see and know. There was nothing physical, it was in the minds of Asha and Talas which created a singularity of a heart in each one burning to never part from the other.

    Asha, I adore you. Thank you for not eating me. Talas mentally laughed.

    Asha happy no eat Talas too. I love Talas. I will learn ‘adore’ Talas. The pureness of those feelings overtook Talas.

    His tears went unnoticed in a pool of water.

    Talas, no sad, I love you. Feeling his tears instead of seeing them, Asha was confused by the waves of emotions coming from Talas. She physically caressed him on the cheek while gazing through the water into his eyes.

    Asha, oh my Asha. These are tears of not just sadness but joy too. I found you. They are bittersweet my love, because it took so long to find you, but find you I did.

    The two Lovers stayed submerged another two hours wafting together through the passions of the heart.

    (continued) -d²

  • Final interior design approved: Next ePub and eBook files!

    Final interior design approved: Next ePub and eBook files!

    Hello all, we have reached another mile stone with my self publishing adventure. I have approved the final design for the book interior. Now we look forward to getting the ePub files so I can see what it will look like in a printed book. Hopefully all will be good right off the bat. Once I have my eBook files I will be able to send for reviews and Amazon purchases. Again thank all of you that have supported me in this change of career path with me. -d²

  • Under a Dark Star: Up coming story

    Under a Dark Star: Up coming story

    HI all, this week I have a minor health issue so I will not be posting any story scene for Asha and Talas. I do plan to finish their story in about three or four more posts. I did upload for your enjoyment an image and poem for the next tale in the “Under a Dark Star” story line. It will be on the same moon as Asha and Talas.

    Thank all of you for your support. Please, if you are viewing this on Facebook, go to my website : http://www.costoftheheart.com for more information on my book being released the end of this July 2026, “Cost of the Heart: Into the Fire” as well as the complete story of Asha and Talas as it unfolds. -d²

  • Under a Dark Star: Firestorm

    Under a Dark Star: Firestorm

     Asha ran with labored breaths but on she pushed watching for purchases as she hop-skipped across the terrain to the cave, babies, home, to Talas. She notices that the landscape is getting lighter, with fewer shadows. The back of her body chitin and most hind appendages were warming. NOT time, the star not time to rise! Asha’s mind screamed.

     Talas looked out into the bloody glow just at the horizon. I haven’t seen a sunrise here. Asha always hides away in the day. What passes as day here. Talas muses as he scans the forming shadows across the land like growing gnashes and wounds bleeding out.

     Asha stumbled from the glare forming as the early red dawn began warming the landscape. Closing her emitter eyes Asha carried on now pushing hard as the back caprice began warming up to much. There! I see the cave, no Talas, get inside!” That last thought she projected to Talas as hard as she could. “AHHHH!”

     Asha fell flat on the ground feeling a surge of heat across her body and a bright searing red light flashed across the sky.

     Talas felt Asha see him Asha, what?! Asha’s warning hit him just as he watched a huge angry bloody red solar flare fill the sky. Blinded and pulling up his arms extinctive he felt Asha’s pain and mental push to get inside. On the ground he crawled towards what he remembered was the entrance. Ow, there’s a rock there, ok, more left, it’s getting hot.
     Talas reached out with his thoughts; Asha, are you ok, can you get here, I am blind but inside.

    Asha, ok, I will be there soon, we must get into the water pool at back of cave. Star angry. Never seen it this angry. I see you, Talas. Asha grabbed Talas with ease in one smooth movement and continued to run to the back of the cave. Babies, mommy is home. Will feed you tomorrow, eat your dead sisters. There, there I know my babies, mommy loves you.

     Talas’s thoughts were gently invaded by this mother children exchange. He kept his thoughts deep to himself. As suddenly as she had picked him up they were suddenly in cool water. Catching his breath before he went under.

    Talas, under water with Asha and babies. Star angry. Hide under water. With those thoughts Asha pulled Talas further under the water to the bottom of the pool. She had grabbed one of the egg sacks. It would have a third of her total children, the others would cook in the bright solar flare reaching around the large gas giant to touch the outermost atmosphere of the moon. The entire cave lit up and Talas could feel the water warm by several degrees. His flash blindness was subsiding as the light was fading above them on the surface of the water.

     Talas started feeling the need for air. Struggling against Asha’s grip he tried to break free. Asha! I need air! Solar flare is over.

    No, not over Star is mad it will as you say ‘flare’ again,

    I need air! With that forced thought at Asha he did his best to break out here grip, he could not it was useless. Asha please…

    Come here, turn face me.

    He rolled in her arms as she would let him. He gazed into the face that terrified him. The water and flash blindness blurred her so he could only make out shapes, not as bad. With that thought he was pulled closer and felt something forced into his mouth tube like, further till it sealed gently in his mouth like a rebreather mask would. I can breathe!

    Yes, Talas. Asha hold you so we both can breathe. I can stay underwater for a long time. You breathe my air. Take a big breath and hold, Asha needs to take off armor.

     With no more discussion she began to release Talas, trusting him to stay with her. Just as in the cave under the ancient city Asha popped open her chest plate and wiggled out leaving the same two appendages behind as before.

    Talas watched Asha shed her chitin armor like he did his power armor. Obscured through the water Talas could make out her vibrant blue skin color. She reached out and pulled Talas close to her again. Wrapping her self around Talas and what Talas thought strangely as a kiss she started breathing for them both. He lived through her.

    They both sunk to the bottom intertwined. Talas felt the contours of her warm soft body against his now. Their thoughts mingled.

    Talas, what is ‘kiss’? You kiss Asha? She held him gently but tight as a lover. Not understanding what she did nor feel, she let it flow.

    Ah, well, I guess this is the ‘kiss’ of life, that is what I meant. Not a ‘kiss, kiss’ you know. Again staringly Talas did not quite believe his  own words and knew as soon as he thought them she would know. Asha, lets just rest. Please, I could not sleep while you were gone. I need to sleep. With these last thoughts of finality for a conversation Talas found himself curling into Asha’s body and letting go of thought and the now.

     With those last thoughts from Talas; Asha knew something was different. Talas not repulsed by Asha now. Talas kiss Asha, Talas Love Asah now. These thoughts not only echoed around in Asha’s own mind but gently caressed Talas’s as they both drifted in a pool of water entangled through deep shared dreams.

    (continued)

    -d²

  • Under a Dark Star – Diamond

    Under a Dark Star – Diamond

     Talas sat at the entrance to the cave. Where are you Asha, why do I miss you. He found that the babies crying he began to think of it was fainter the closer to the entrance he was. Moving his head from left to right slowly and methodically he scanned the dark night.

    Pitch. Dark as the void. Where are the stars! Nothing, in the sky, and nothing but scrub out there and creator knows what else. His body shivered at that thought. If Asha was just one…. he let the thought end there. He sat and lost himself in the dark of the night on this moon under an eclipse. How in Hadis could this place be, how can life be here. Those old ruins across the plain he crossed with Asha from the crash. What were they? Someone was here before, maybe he can find out how they left. He grimaced in the dark as he hoped they didn’t die off.

    Asha bounded across the craggy landscape with a hop-skip movement. Her emitter eyes lighting up the terrain while her large primaries drank in the darkness seeing beyond shadow piercing the night. At the speed of a cheetah on flat open ground Asha traversed gullies, draws, sink holes with ease and grace. Home, my babies. Not all but most. Some will sacrifice so most will live until the reaping.  A sob escaped her as she jumped high to the next foot/handhold while climbing a small natural rock wall. Close now. Her mind turned to the reaping. All she did was have babies, feed, teach, let them be reaped. Only the strongest 10 would go, go with the Didon. Then start all again, 100 babies, feed, teach, fight, go away. She had never dwelled on this before. It was only after touching Love in Talas’s memory of a mother. He was baby Talas. Mother loved him, Asha loved baby Talas.
     Asha loved her babies now like baby Talas. For Asha, her new heart raged inside, and it was simple, you loved or did not. The night was brighter tonight for some reason. Asha had an idea, she thought of the hairline crack and the pool of water at home. Maybe I can look not like monster to Talas. He will love me then.

     Talas found himself lost in non-thought, staring off into the Dark, he let his mind go away. Just go into that black hole and disappear. All thoughts stopped timeless, nothing just “ising” for a moment, eternal in that moment though. In that “ising” he is acutely aware of the environment and moment he is in. He felt more than heard Asha’s approach. She still was a kilomitor or more away. She felt him touch her.

    Talas?

    Yes Asha, are you ok? I ah I missed you, I worried.

    A sob escaped Asha as Talas’s thoughts wrapped their way around her own web of thought.

    Talas, you miss Asha? Tired as she was and worn at the edges, she found more in her and sped up wanting to close the physical distance between her and Talas. She felt a warmth never felt deep in her body. A raging fire of warmth that slowly crept like wildfire through her being.

    Talas stood feeling her approach, her speed, her warmth. He could not hear her with his ears but deep inside him her approach resounded in loud echoes to his relief.

    -d²

  • Across the In-Between

    Across the In-Between

    Talas woke to the gnawing of the babies at the corners of his mind. It was dark outside. He stumbled towards the opening of the cave. Reaching down he rubbed the healing bone and wound. The med nanos are working. Almost mended. Two days I should be able to walk. Maybe visit that old city. Talas leaned up against the wall of the cave entrance and gazed out into the night. The blood red glow just about gone. Such a strange place. Where in the emperor’s beard am I? Where are you, Asha?

    The fluttering of wings and scraping of talons gripping rock woke Asha from her deep slumber on ledge in the water. Nibiks. Slowly and quietly, Asha rolled off the shelf into the pool of water. Her armor was at the bottom. Silently she exhaled and forced herself to the bottom of the naturally formed pool. Where are you, not see well here. Straining her emitter eyes to focus and not scatter in the liquid she spotted the armor.

    There you are, now to wiggle in but chest will not be closed for a night or two. She wiggled into the armor feeling each limb enter the appendage except the two bottom middle leg/arms. She had left them behind in the chitin armor. Wiggling slowly as to not disturb the surface of the water she felt the snick-pop of the ball and socket reconnecting. Ahh, there you go. Slowly flexing her appendages to ensure her chitin was fitted she could feel the cool water in and out as she breathed. Slowly moving each hand/foot she raised herself to the surface of the pool. Clearing her eyes she examined the roof of the cave. Spotting the upside-down hanging Nibiks. Asha quietly paddled on her back to the ledge she had slept on while watching the Nibiks to make sure they did not wake.

     Asha brought each limb out tentatively as she crawled out of the water hoping she would not wake any of the Nibiks. They can pierce my armor with their beaks. Tear into me and with my chest open I will not live. With that thought of her chest carapace still split a hairline completely down the front. Out of the water now, Asha crept with her chest to the ground to protect the hairline crack in her caprice. Must be quite, the wings, its ok, they just repositioning. Almost to the entrance. The night air was cool and coming into the cave Asha stopped for a moment, What was that? No they are asleep, Now! With that thought she bolted out the cave entrance. Running hard and fast Asha put as much distance as she could from the cave that had saved her that day but would be death in the night.

      As she ran silt was kicked up and worked its way into the hairline crack. Winching from the irritation Asha stopped for a minute and tried to relieve the itching. She knew she would have to leave her armor again to clean out the silt. On she ran in the dark night. This time no hunting, just home. Sorrow filled her and a sob escaped her mandible covered mouth My babies, some will die tonight. No food for two nights. Babies will eat dead babies, the will be ok. Talas, he be hungry. He no love me, why I worry about him. Kicking harder Asha ran and sobbed into the night towards her dying children waiting to be fed.

    -d²

  • Under a Dark Star – Darkness

    Under a Dark Star – Darkness

    Asha felt her chitin warming. She rose up on four leg/arms and looked at the horizon. The deep blood red glow slowly seeping over the horizon silhouetting an ancient, deserted city. I fell asleep. I must get back home. Looking around, where am I. This is too far; I won’t make it back. Mmm babies will sleep but Talas. He will sleep too. I can die, he care not for me, but babies need me. Too far. Secret cave at city. Old home will have to do until night again. With that thought Asha skipped ran on all eight leg/arms to the safety of a cave as the heavy shadows of the Dark Star chased her.

    She was born under that star; she would die under that star she knew one day but not today. Her chitin now hot as she was getting full rays of the eclipse red star upon her. Pushing forward as her joints began to ache as the radiation seeped into the softer areas of her armor. Hissing and gasping in pain Asha saw the cave ahead only meters now. Stumbling she pushed ahead as her inside body started to burn from the searing heat of her chitin. Steam was now coming off her armor. The blood red light soaking the rugged cliff side she was running for. Blinded she blinked to get her bearings again and as such closed her emitting eyes tight, this helped but the surfaces were bright and the safety of shadows obscured now with the rising mist as the eclipsed star’s rays warmed the moon’s surface.

    Reaching the cave entrance dragging herself she felt the cool air in her lungs, the darkness safe and assuring she continued to drag herself further into the cave. She was still cooking from the heated chitin that encased her. Once before this had happened, she knew what she needed. Opening her emitter eyes, she could now see the cave in its entirety. It was large, not as large as the Home, but it should have what she needed. A pool of liquid that would cool her armor off. The air helped a little, but she was cooking inside.

     She heard/sensed the dripping of liquid. Examining her surroundings she zeroed in on where the dripping was. She now hoped there was a pool large enough to get into. The sound now closer and deeper. Relief passed through her as she saw the large pool of liquid. Any liquid would do to cool her. Slipping into the cold dark liquid she realized it was water and drank deeply. As the cold water cooled her chitin she could feel her armor straining with the quick change in temperature. With a loud crack-pop her chitin cracked completely down the entirety of her front body if she stood. The relief of cold-water rushing in made her gasp. Slowly wiggling and working each limb out of the protective outer body made of chitin which acted much like a power armored suit she left it behind to swim and soak in the pool of water healing her inner body.

     Feeling her body’s temperature returning to normal she found a shelf in the pool of water to lay on. Relaxing every muscle, letting the emotions of the night go; Asha silently sobbed until sleep took her into the day.

    Talas had a fitful sleep without Asha near he realized. She seemed to soothe his thoughts while he slept but without her he woke off and on to gnawing feeling at the edges of his mind. He found he missed her in a strange sense, he felt safe with her, but she was a monster. With those thoughts running through his mind wondering if he would ever get home. Where am I? No stars just that red eclipse for daylight and starless dark for night. Where is she?

     Talas had been able to get around a little and made his way to the entrance of the cave. On the horizon he saw the faint tinge of a blood-colored thread stretching across and growing. Any minute I will see here skipping home. HOME, what the. I am not home! Talas watched for Asha a bit more then made his way back to the sleeping silks, this is what he thought of the bedding now and collapsed into the spun silk sheet like bedding. Weary of fitful sleep, nightmarish dreams, longing for home, and the damnable gnawing, gnashing at the edge of his mind, those Babies, Talas drifted off again to sleep with thoughts and hopes of Asha’s return to his surprise.

    -d²